According to Taylor Trudon’s Huffington Post piece, 10 Lessons My Parent’s Divorce Taught Me, everyone should have a therapist.
In today’s society, Trudon says, “Having a therapist is like saying you have an Ipod. Everyone has one. They’re both expensive and you will listen to them repeat the same things over and over. Therapists are great because whether you’re in marital bliss or divorce inferno, they will tell you what your friends have been saying, but because they have a framed license hanging on their office wall and you’re paying $100 an hour, you’ll actually listen to them.”
This is true, many people wait too long to contact a therapist. Some people contact me when they have suffered far past what is needed, especially in marriage. One partner is considering leaving or is already having or has had an affair, has overspent money and put them in a critical situation, or one has withdrawn or has been using addictions — alcohol, drugs, shopping, porn, gambling, food — to soothe themselves. When trust has been broken and hurt and anger continue, sometimes it is too late.
When Is It Time to Seek Therapy?
1. When the same topic resurfaces with no resolve.
2. When your partner doesn’t seem to be listening and you don’t feel heard.
3. When you are talking negatively about each other. In a marriage, you need to feel like your partner “has your back.” This is the person to fall back on in this crazy world at the end of the day, the person you trust. The trust between two people is very delicate and has to be nurtured.
4. When there is any sign of verbal or physical abuse.
5. Before you move in together.
6. Before you get married and during major transitions such as deaths, births, relocations and new career choices.
Working with couples and helping them to see that most of us want the same thing: unconditional love, respect and acceptance is one of my practice’s greatest goals.
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." - Henry David Thoreau